What motivates you?…A Tribute to the Man that Motivates Me.

“Grandpa has ears that truly listen, arms that always hold, love that’s never-ending, and a heart that’s made of gold.”

What motivates you? As a society, often times failure, being told no, sadness, anger, etc…are things we use to motivate ourselves to be better.

The uncertainty and frustration I had during the COVID-19 Pandemic around March, prompted me to eat healthier, grow my own food, and make this blog. That situation opened the doors to not only wanting to become a nurse, but also a personal trainer. Even better, a nurse with a specialty in sports medicine or rehabilitation.

That is all great…but, the question is…WHO motivates you? Who are those people that you want to make proud? Do you have someone in your life that makes you want to do something to the best of your ability just because of how proud they are of you?

Once you have that person in mind, now picture yourself the way they see you.

Aim to always be the person they see you as, and you will almost never feel unmotivated.

For me, my grandpa has easily been one of those people I think of when I need motivation, and now is a perfect time to honor him….

Just seven days ago, we lost “Pop Pops”. This is a different type of hard, because I can’t just fix it or go back in time. Learning to live without him being on earth with us, is something we knew was coming but could never be prepared for.

I didn’t know Pops like my dad did, or even for his whole life like my Grammy did (seriously, they met when they were babies!), but I knew him my whole life, and after 20 years, I am lucky enough to be able to say many of my best memories have been with them.

“Growing Healthies from the Ground Up” is meant to promote the idea that you can only grow from healthy soil, also known as a healthy mind body and soul, before you can accomplish your fitness goals. It originally started as a gardening and art blog, later evolving into a more fitness based platform. My grandpa taught me how you can’t just dig a hole in the ground to plant flowers and expect them to grow. You need to put in the work to add healthy soil, proper sun light, and plenty of space.

Pops didn’t just listen to us tell him what we were interested in at the time, but he took me to see princess plays when I liked princesses, and built trains and even took us on train rides when that’s what my brother was interested in. Anything we loved at the time, he found a way to participate and make something fun, but educational out of it.

Because of his love for whatever we were involved in, Pops fits the description of a true #1 fan and motivator. Anything his family said to him, he listened with a big smile and genuine interest.

I remember missing a goal or not playing too well and Pops would be at almost every game cheering me on. 9 years later, him, his cane, and orange hat would make it to all my brothers hockey games, or up a giant hill to the soccer field that he really had no business walking up.

Pops and Grammy went to every school function, graduation, and remembered to call us for every birthday, test, or vacation.

Pops fought through many battles in his life, and congestive heart failure was the last. Needless to say, he put up one good fight. I LOVED helping out with medications, oxygen, walking etc…obviously because it was him, but also because family is good first practice for the real world, with real patients. He’d frequently ask me “have you seen anyone with this condition” or “do you want to practice taking my blood pressure?” Seeing his face light up even when I was sticking pulse oximeters on him, or waking him up to take off his blue fuzzy sweatshirt in order to take his blood pressure is something you don’t get from many patients. As hard as it was to see, there was something special in seeing my dad and my uncles care for their father, as he once cared for them.

“To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.” – Tia Walker

Being on so many medications in the last couple weeks, he would talk “nonsense” often making us laugh even while he was sick. For example, everyone said goodnight to him, and once I said goodnight he said “oh,Elaine! Is this the new bird? Listen to him, he’s a squeaky little guy isn’t he?!” Or, “No, I want a special ice cream, a deee-luxe ice cream!”

Pops was always the root of many laughing fits, and prank wars. The first time I ever saw my dad cry was actually when Pops put on fake rotten teeth and a white tank top, and my dad laughed so hard tears were flowing out of him.

I’d dance on Pops’ toes as we listened to Michael Bublè in the kitchen or listened to other “Pops music”…. we would dance together up until the day before he passed away, where he woke up from a nap and did a few moves with my uncle Colin and I before dinner.

Helping to care for pops became one of my favorite parts of the week. Some of my favorite things to do included feeding him chocolate ice-cream, helping him put on his “sunshine smelling” cologne, and simply just chatting.

My Grammy wrote me a journal when I was growing up, and luckily, I now have some of these moments documented. There is nothing better than having some of my favorite memories with them, written down, and I am especially thankful for it now:

Pops being the independent & tough guy he was deep down, didn’t want me there to only take care of him. He even said, “are you here as my granddaughter or to take care of me?”

So, to remind him that he is still my grandfather and I still look UP to him even though I may be helping him more, I asked him his advice about what to do with my career on a day that it was just him and I in his living room.

If you’re familiar with my other blog posts, you’d know that getting a 77 instead of an 80 in a college class forced me to change nursing programs and ultimately transfer schools. I remember crying over this class constantly, more so because I didn’t want to let him or my family down, as he was SO extra proud to have a granddaughter that was becoming a nurse.

Even years ago, pops fed my goal to be a nurse, and sent me notes to remind me to work hard and not give up. For the last 2 years I’ve put this on my desk and read it before every single test I’ve had:

Again, nursing school was one of his favorite things to talk about with anyone and everyone, so hearing him give me advice at a time like that was so refreshing to both of us. It was just me and him for a couple hours, and I think he even forgot that he wasn’t feeling well. I told him about my class, and how I was thinking of stopping nursing school, thinking maybe it wasn’t for me after all because I was afraid of failure again. I wanted to maybe switch to teaching or something different…but, here I was sitting in his living room debating a different career while helping him with medications, and loving every second of being able to chat with him. God works in funny ways.

During that conversation around June, Pops told me to choose based on my goals and dreams, not anyone else or how hard it may be. We both almost agreed that giving up would give a sense of regret to something I truly love doing.

A week later, I chose to stick to nursing. He continued telling every care taker that his granddaughter is also going to be a nurse. I often would visit him in the hospital and have one of the nurses say “are you the one becoming a nurse? He told me about you, your grandfather is very cute!”

I have always been extremely passionate about helping others, but it wasn’t until I got to experience Pops himself in a “patient” position that I realized this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. Seeing the Hospice nurse talk to him with such dignity and respect, and speaking to the CNA that cared for him after he passed was inspiring, and I think made us all realize the impact good healthcare has on especially the elderly population. It isn’t a job to take care of the older and wiser people than ourselves, but it is more of an honor.

Pops talked for weeks about every kind or funny nurse that took care of him. It could have been a simple task or a simple phrase about his “baby blues” that he didn’t forget it for weeks, even months. That shows you how far a few kind words can go, especially with people in vulnerable positions.

Not only did Pops help me choose my future career as I was older, he became a professional grandpa as soon as I was born.

He took me to princess plays, gardens, carousels, irish danced with me on a public stage by the canal, played with girly toys, taught me how to paint, sang nursery songs in the car, among many other things I’m sure were out of his comfort zone…I mean not only was he is a good sized veteran, but he’s from the Bronx with three sons and a tattoo…I’m sure he didn’t expect to end up being a grandpa dressed up as a cat dancing around my living room with my baby doll in hand. But, Grammy and Pops did, and they did it with every ounce of joy in their body.

He even sang princess songs and cat musicals into spoons…

Growing up, Pops would walk me around my yard as I’d point to every single thing and ask “what’s that? Why? Why?”, took me to library hours, read to me, and taught me how to appreciate taking the time to educate yourself. Now, after 20 years of learning, I may not be done, but Pops taught me how much of an honor it is to learn from someone that cared for you, and eventually learn from them as you help care for them yourself.

Simply put, he turned many of our interests, into passions. Corny, but true as can be.

I loved his smile, it was probably one of my favorite quality’s about him. Anyone that knew him knows that he’d crack a joke and pull a somewhat crooked smile, with bright blue eyes, white teeth, and shiny baldish head he didn’t want to admit was bald.

It’s hard to explain how much he meant to me, and all of us as a family. But I can speak just for myself by saying that whenever i have good news, Grammy and Pops are the first to know, and they will BOTH still be some of those main people I aim to make proud.

Taking time to write this about Pops has taken me away from the daily stress of to do lists…and it’s made me really appreciate all he has given us.

You know you are lucky where everywhere you look in town, you have a good memory. Every where I look lately, I remember good times with Pops and Grammy, and can easily reflect on how lucky we are.

As Grammy says, “It’s au revior, never goodbye…”

Some things you may take as failure, set backs, disappointments etc…will lead you to places and memories you never could have imagined. During a time where I wasn’t sure that my direction was the right one, I got to spend more time with Pops and realize that that was exactly where I was supposed to be at that exact moment.

So if you’re still reading, think of that person you want to make proud again. Now, be sure to always aim to be the person they see you as and you will feel more motivated than ever.